Since then I have done a lot of thinking, reflection, and reading, and have also had realizations. One of the my most important realizations came after reading a book that said that there is no bereavement, and that when people cry, they cry only for themselves and only about earth, even though they may think that they are crying for someone or something else. This made a lot of sense and felt right to me. I didn’t want to complicate or make more difficult in any way the journey of our baby’s soul in the spiritual dimension. I had to let her go and not burden her with tears or attachments. Along the way, I had some difficult and painful moments, but they were a part of the whole experience, and for the most part I felt sincere gratitude to God for His protection and guidance, and in my heart I felt a sense of peace for the baby’s soul. Each of us has a path in life that we must tread. Only we can proceed along this path - no one else - and we must follow every inch of it. We all receive arrangements and circumstances that are perfect just for us – they are not necessary for the next person. These arrangements, especially the painful ones, allow us to grow spiritually, to have important realizations, to become more pure inside. If it was in my path to have a stillborn baby, I wanted to fully accept it, feel it, live through it and be grateful for absolutely all of it, including the pain. It is harder to be truly grateful for painful moments, but I have felt God’s protection and guidance every step of the way, for which I am immensely grateful to Him.
 
Another realization I had was about the vibrations of the words we use to describe various situations. Sometimes, when I talked to people about what happened to us, they would say that it was “horrible” or “devastating.” These words didn’t feel right to me. My experience was certainly not easy, but it was also very profound and inspiring.